Madume: The importance of Greetings!

Batswana people are extremely friendly, but formalities are very important and demonstrate your respect for the person you are talking to. You simply cannot approach someone and ask them a question without greeting them first. One of the Peace Corps Language and Cultural Facilitators (LCF’s) explained it to me like this: “Greetings are the passwords to enter a conversation.” After all, we cannot use a computer without entering the correct password to log-in first. And you cannot greet someone from far away. The physical act of shaking hands is so important here that you must get your entire body into it. First, you reach out your right hand and your left hand is placed under your right elbow to support and present your hand for shaking; then you bend your knees and bow your head (the higher status they are the lower the bow). If you are greeting a peer or an equal you will both bow the same amount (just a small bow of the head). Waving is not a polite way to greet your peer or an elder; it is only acceptable when you are addressing children or someone of a much lower status than yourself.

Status is important here, and it is very hierarchal. The person with the highest status in the country is naturally the President; the Setswana word for “President” is Tautona which literally translates to “Big Lion!” Each community has a Kgosi (Setswana word for chief) who is typically an elderly man and is greatly revered by all. Whenever the Kgosi enters a room, everyone stands and stays standing until the Kgosi directs them to be seated.

 In this culture, age is the number one factor in how high one’s status is. Perhaps this is partly due to the fact that surviving in a developing country where there are so many diseases and health issues, growing to a ripe old age is a feat in and of itself. Therefore after the Kgosi, the next highest status goes to all of the elders in the community (the older they are, the more we must show them our respect by bowing down lower as we shake their hand). The hierarchy continues down the line and children receive the least respect. It is also perfectly acceptable for anyone with higher status to beat a child who is misbehaving; this extends not only to that child’s parents and teachers, but also to any elders in the community who feel this child deserves a beating.

There are some exceptions to the age rule. Married women (who typically wear head scarves) automatically have a higher status than single women, even if the single woman is several years older than them. This is partly due to the traditional requirement of a dowry (Lebola in Setswana) payment that a man is expected to pay to his bride’s family. The typical Lebola brideprice is 8 cattle and 1 goat, which most people in this country are unable to afford. I know one man who has been unofficially engaged to a woman for 17 years and they have 2 children together, but he is unable to live with them until he saves up enough money to pay the Lebola to her parents. His parents are not even allowed to refer to the 2 kids as their grandchildren until a wedding has officially united them into one family. Some Batswana follow this tradition strictly, while others have adopted some western customs.

In summary, to greet people (go dumedisa batho) is a wonderful and necessary thing to do in Botswana. You always shake hands when greeting someone, and you demonstrate extra respect by bowing lower during the handshake. Respect and status is based on age; the older the better!